Monday, August 31, 2009

The bestest bike a kid could ask for


Help Jill find her bike...she misses it.
Giant/Morph bicycle.

Specs:
Bicycle TypeJuvenile
WeightUnspecified
SizesAdjustable for rider height
ColorsYellow/red

Frame & Fork
Frame ConstructionTIG-welded
Frame Tubing MaterialHi-tensile steel
Fork Brand & ModelGiant
Fork MaterialChromoly, unicrown crown
Rear ShockNot applicable

Components
Component GroupJuvenile Mix
BrakesetAluminum cantilever brakes, aluminum levers
Shift LeversGrip Shift MRX-100
Front DerailleurShimano Altus top-swing
Rear DerailleurShimano Altus
CranksetAluminum w/chainguard, 28/38/48 teeth
PedalsPlatform, resin
Bottom BracketThree piece, sealed
BB Shell Width73mm English
Rear Cogs7-speed
Chain1/2 x 3/32"
SeatpostPillar, steel
SaddleGiant
HandlebarUnspecified
Handlebar ExtensionsNot included
Handlebar StemAluminum, adjustable
Headset1"

Wheels
HubsSteel, nutted
RimsAluminum, 36-hole
Tires24 x 2.10" multi-terrain
Spoke BrandUCP, 2.0mm straight gauge
Spoke NipplesBrass nipples

Friday, August 21, 2009

Cover Letter to the "Onion"


Dear Mr. ----,
The accompanying résumé is in response to your listing in the NYU Film & Television Media Internship Office for production interns at The Onion News Network. As an upcoming senior I will be enrolling in the Educational Labor (a.k.a. Internship) Program and am eligible to receive academic credit for an internship.
I am particularly interested in the production internship, as I have focused my attention on production throughout my time at NYU. Since starting my education in film and television, I have crewed on more than fifteen productions. These projects range from student productions to professional film and television projects in a range of positions in both production and pre-production. My freelance work with web-based media and photography has also allowed me to develop a diverse group of clients in D.C., New York, and Berlin, Germany. Examples of my work can be seen here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jhsprojects/sets.
The Onion's expansion into web-media is particularly fascinating to me as I hope to continue a path in web-production - perhaps even beyond my already awesome production assistant coffee delivery skills.
I would greatly appreciate the ability to discuss how my experience can best meet the needs of the "America's Finest News Source." I will call your office on the morning of Monday, August 24th to inquire if there is a possibility to schedule a meeting.
Sincerely,
20-something, seeking internship

The day after 21 on Gchat

These messages were sent while you were offline.

11:57 AM Britta: possibly still drunk i won't lie
maybe it's the flask i have in my pocket right now...
mauahahahaha that's what you do when you're 21, right?!
WHY ARE YOU OFFLINE BIOTCH

mayday! we're going down!

Toy helicopter crash prompts SC driver to call 911
Thu Aug 20, 8:15 pm ET
Information from: The Post and Courier

CHARLESTON, S.C. – It was an eerie sight for a motorist driving Interstate 526 in South Carolina - a helicopter in the distance spewing smoke as it plunged toward the Wando River. The Post and Courier of Charleston reported the motorist called 911 with the report Wednesday. Police and three Charleston Fire Department trucks and a fire battalion chief raced to the scene.
One Charleston police officer drove calmly by after seeing the truth. It was a helicopter all right - a remote controlled toy helicopter about 2 feet long.
Police spokesman Charles Francis said two people were below the interstate bridge operating the toy chopper when it went down.

Awesome

I saw this at Birdland Jazz Club the other night and was SO happy to find that it was online. This guy is so great that after he sang, we gave him a standing ovation and shook his hand at the bar.

Jill, why so much German?

So a few people keep asking me what the obsession with German is - particularly with my thesis film.
Here's what it is:
I would like to direct that is something either bi-lingual or in a foreign language to challenge myself as a director and to possibly help my potential in festivals.
THERE
DANKE
LASS MICH ALLEIN

Potato, rodeo, retired, sealife, twin

Dear Sara,
These words SUCK. New words NOW otherwise it's a story about a retired rodeo star who tries a stint working at SeaWorld, but is only allowed to work at a stand selling potato chips. He falls in love with a woman at SeaWorld who loves him back. Her heart turns cold against him and he discovers later that the woman he was in love with died and the woman he was trying to court with was her twin.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Knot, solace, treetop, tattered, drip

After running away from Germany at the end of the Second World War, Kurt has lived in solitude in Argentina. The images of the war have scarred him all his life and he is unable to face humanity again. Living in a handcrafted home in a treetop deep in the Argentinean jungle, Kurt is still unable to find solace. His home has been made of ropes that he’s made and gathered from trees and knotted together. He had brought limited supplies with him when he first went into the jungle.

During a camping trip into the deep woods, Michael, an American gets lost and separated from the rest of his group. A few days into his journey, an exhausted Michael begins to set up camp. He feels a constant drip fall on his head and looks up to find Kurt’s canopy.

Kurt descends from the canopy in his tattered clothes to confront Michael. With salvaged weapons in hand, he threatens to kill Michael. He gives up quickly though, memories from the war suddenly rush in on him and he backs away.

Michael’s high school German and Kurt’s broken English are the only forms of communication. Michael’s desperation to leave the jungle subsides as he becomes more interested in Kurt. Kurt confesses to leaving Germany for fear of trials for war and genocide crimes. Michael tells Kurt that he’s a Jew. Kurt tells him that if he were bold enough he could go back to Germany and face his past as a Nazi, but it’s obvious that the years haven’t been kind to him and he’s still tormented. Michael takes sympathy on Kurt, finding that the man has tortured himself. As odd as it sounds, a life in prison after facing his trial would probably bring some closure to Kurt.

Deciding to venture back to society for the first time in years, Kurt brings Michael to the closest town so that he can get help and find his way home. Kurt returns back to woods.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Doctor, porridge, petunias, vacuum, stepbrother


Dr. Jack Vather was one of the world’s most successful surgeons until a botched surgery and a divorce left him with nothing. His son, Max still lives with him, abandoned by his mother who fled the country to marry Jack’s stepbrother and to avoid paying child support. In a struggling economy, Jack looks for ways to support himself and Max. The days are harder with Max home from school during the summer and still too young to find work. During the days that Jack is out looking for work, Max attempts to keep the house together by vacuuming and making porridge, oddly the only thing he knows how to make. He learned early that that porridge was a forgiving recipe and by adding water (basically making gruel), he could stretch their dollar. While cleaning the house, Max discovers a clog in the vacuum. He opens up the bag of the vacuum to discover a dying petunia that seems as if it were left for safekeeping. The find is certainly curious and Max adopts the new plant and plants it outside. It becomes his newest project and he exerts all his emotion and energy into caring for the plant.

Marilyn, a middle-aged widow sees Max outside caring for his plant one day. Jack is out looking for a job and she strikes up a conversation with Max and offers to teach him more about gardening. During the day when Jack is off, Max goes to Marilyn’s home to learn, bringing seeds and plants home to help transform the dilapidated façade of the home he shares with his father. He soon plants vegetables and fruits as well, surprising his father with foods that differ from the regular porridge.

Jack feels helpless that he is unable to find a job when his boy has managed to deliver something new to them without a job.

Max introduces Jack to Marilyn the next day. Marilyn lives comfortably with what her husband has left behind and Jack confesses to how difficult life has been. He tells her that he’s thought about bringing Max to an orphanage or a foster home and finds it difficult to wake up in the morning since his life began to fall apart.

Marilyn convinces Jack that Max needs a father in his life when one parent has already abandoned him. She tells Jack that he can take some time off looking and maybe he’ll find fulfillment with the time he spends with his son.

Jack agrees to stop the job search temporarily and allows Max to take him under his tutelage to learn about gardening. Jack clears out a large chunk of the backyard to expand the garden and they slowly start to see the fruits of their labor.

Without Jack’s knowledge, Max sells picked fruits, vegetables, and herbs from the garden to sell (even in small quantities) and begins to bring the profits home to his father, slowly but surely giving Jack some hope both mentally and financially to optimistically get back on his feet.

5 Words

Every day until I can come up with a script or a story, Sara will give my 5 random words for me to create a unique piece of b.s. in hopes of finding some spark of an idea. These were/are done mostly as jokes, but the exercise may actually prove helpful.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

I want a fort too


"is there an age limit? cause I'm thirty and about two more beers away from deciding that I need this."

Friday, August 14, 2009

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Hoooooooootttttt

TAMPA, Fla. – A group of Tampa inmates is offering a taste of what it's like jail — no locks, bars or handcuffs required. But you'd better have an tough stomach to use more than a dash of their "Jailhouse FireHot Sauce." Minimum-security Hillsborough County Jail inmates offer it in "Original," "Smoke" and "No Escape" varieties, all made from their jail-grown peppers.

They came up with the recipe and started selling it in 2005. Since then, horticulture instructor Allen Boatman estimates they've made $10,000 on the sauce. Each bottle is $7.

The income is used to keep up the greenhouse and buy basic supplies.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Blocked Access


Sure I can write on my blog, but I can't view it even if I wanted to apparently.

Summer

“Summer Vacation” lacks some sort of utopian value that it used to have. The par-comatose state that I used to leisure in my younger summers is unappealing and forgotten so much so that the thought of lounging lazily across a couch in front of a television sounds more like a groggy agony than relaxation. The lack of structure during the summer may create a small amount of chaos, but for the first summer that I can recall, I’ve kept myself relatively busy. Freelance projects from video media and photography have kept me motivated, the 9-5 job (more like 10-6) has kept me on schedule, and meeting with friends allows me to feign appointments and scheduling so I can pretend that I’m more important than I actually I am.

It's time for a new leader!....a shirtless leader!